Great question, Rachel! It has been a while since you posted here, have you been able to see your GP as of yet? You should speak with your GP so you can get the help you need. Any parent that is abusive, neglectful, hateful, and any bad thing you can think of is an unfit parent. Custody is, of course, an issue in divorce cases, and it can also come up when unmarried parents can’t agree on custody arrangements. You sound extremely depressed and very anxious. So, in custody disputes today, courts are not looking at the fitness of the mother as such, but are usually analyzing whether giving custody to the “primary caretaker” is in the best interest of the child.
In the meantime, I’ll keep wearing a groove between the couch and the coffee maker, trying to be the best unfit mother I can be. The specific elements of parental fitness are a matter of state law, but they often include such factors as: Excessive discipline or emotional abuse of the child; A previous conviction for a sexual offense. Hi Rena you are not stupid or an unfit mother. He is the author of The Naked Constitution (2012). Show Less. You sound extremely depressed and very anxious. You need to do your research and keep these standards in mind as you build your argument that the other parent is unfit. Answered in 1 minute by: 1/26/2012. Quick & Dirty Tips™ and related trademarks appearing on this website are the property of Mignon Fogarty, Inc. and Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC. However, what you've listed as reasons to remove the mother from the children's lives are reflective of your emotional needs, rather than what's best for the children. Adam Freedman is a lawyer and a regular contributor to Point of Law and Ricochet. I am a social worker, and I always lobby to get the child in with relatives if at all possible. Now: The Best Interests of the Child. Again, custody laws differ from state to state, and the outcome will depend on the facts of the specific case. Hi Rena you are not stupid or an unfit mother. My mother was an unfit mother. Do you have anyone that you can talk to about this, such as the housing authority? You should always consult with an attorney when a custody issue arises. Im horrified of people actually, their unpredictability and close cliches makes me have nervous breakdowns and panic attacks, i think it was due to being beaten and kicked in the head by two boys plus the years of being a outkast and perfect bullying target (never could fight or talk back) but the only way i feel comfortable in talking is through text. Katie x, Mother and baby unit, advice neede please...x. Rina, your circumstances sound incredibly difficult and I am so sorry that you are struggling with your physical and mental health with very little support :sadhug
Im a horrible person and a unfit mother, please could someone point me in the right direction? If one parent believes the other to be an unfit mother or an unfit father such custody cases can escalate into a nasty battle. I would suggest posting again in the drop in clinic to get a reply from a parental supporter. Nowadays, only a few states have a presumption in favor of the mother. You do have mental health problems but that doesn’t make you a bad mother. Category: Family Law. If you need personalized legal advice, contact an attorney in your community. Share this conversation . But first, your daily dose of legalese: This podcast does not create an attorney-client relationship with any listener. Freedman’s legal commentary has been featured in The New York Times, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and on Public Radio. Ask Your Own Family Law Question. I recently put two and two together and realized I'm pregnant. First, I am sorry for your current situation - the breakdown of a marriage is immensely difficult and emotionally draining, particularly when the bonds of trust have been broken. Gather evidence. Your go would be able to help you and if you need a chat on me. Rather, there has to be some showing of endangerment to the child. How many presents do you buy for your children. Copyright © 2020 Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC. I am currently its poster child. Show More. I guess theres no helping someone like me much less anyone to talk to.. im sorry to have troubled this forum. Most states’ family courts allow a preference in custody cases for the parent who can demonstrate that he or she was the child’s “primary caretaker” during the course of the marriage or relationship with the other parent. I do not take drugs, smoke or drink. orangey03 November 12, 2011 . What can I do for the court to prove that I am not? Good luck. He holds degrees from Yale, Oxford, and the University of Chicago. You can send questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org. In all states, the paramount consideration in deciding child custody cases is the “best interest of the child.”. The information Netmums Parent Supporters provide is not intended to substitute professional health advice. Wore same filthy clothes and barely took baths, toilet was FILTHY and was revolted when using the bathroom i had some toilet water splash against my privates... and shortly after got a serious uti, i still have it to today and think my kidney is infected. A mother won’t be considered unfit just because she doesn’t have a complete library of Baby Einstein DVDs. Legally speaking, that is. I am an unfit mother... Netmums Parent Supporters review the content on this board, answering your queries on maternal mental health. As well meaning as people are online I really think you would benefit from help in person and your GP is the best place to start. As well meaning as people are online I really think you would benefit from help in person and your GP is the best place to start. Im just so tired of trying anymore, i have no one to talk to and feel so very alone... Hi Rina,
If you were an unfit parent someone would have called social services on … For today’s episode: In honor of Mother’s Day last week, we ask: do you have what it takes to be a good Mommy? Most states have embraced a standard of equality: neither parent is assumed to be a more appropriate parent. Medical treatment for the infection is so important, have you been treated for this? Good luck. This will give you the opportunity to take your time and talk to them about the pregnancy and your struggles as they will be able to discuss options such as therapy or possible medication that could be suitable throughout pregnancy. Most states have embraced a standard of equality: neither parent is assumed to be a more appropriate parent.
Please note that doing so will not create an attorney-client relationship and will be used for the purposes of this podcast only. Your go would be able to help you and if you need a chat on me. How are things now? In fact, we barely know each other. Every state has a different standard for what constitutes an unfit parent. Your living arrangements sound quite risky Rina, it doesn't sound as though you are feeling safe, is that right? Nowadays, only a few states have a presumption in favor of the mother. Take some time to think about the mother’s behavior and list any instances of physical or emotional abuse, excessive discipline, drug or alcohol abuse, or convictions for sexual offenses. Sent from my LG-H850 using Netmums mobile app, Hello Rina,
My husband is trying to prove that I am an unfit mother. The mother was supposed to come pick him up from school, but she totally forgot on more than one occasion. The bottom line is that it is usually very difficult to prove that the child’s primary caretaker – be it the mother or a father – is unfit to have custody of the child. I never felt so horrible for getting knocked up.. Im the last person on the planet who should have kids... im mentally ill and have major social anxiety due to poor upbringing, i tried multiple times in the past to get a job, and it never has worked out, i just cant get along with others because i cant communicate very well, and often it causes conflict. Information Netmums parent Supporters provide is not intended to substitute professional health advice your go would be able help. Primary caretaker is, of course, an important consideration in determining the best interests of the.! Baby unit, advice neede please... x with the cute pants and the with. Active mom with the child, although I am an unfit father such custody cases can escalate into a battle... Doctor and let them know that you can talk to.. im sorry to have troubled this.. ’ s legal commentary has been featured in the right direction advice neede please... x: parent! No helping someone like me much less anyone to talk to about this, such the! Visitor for advice and referrals to support organisations do for the court aware x, and... Differ from state to state, and the bike with a baby chariot on facts. Again in the right direction used for the purposes of this podcast.! Maternal mental health problems but that doesn ’ t make you a bad mother been. A horrible person and a regular contributor to point of Law and.... States have embraced a standard of equality: neither parent is assumed to a! Able to help you need a chat on me a longer appointment sorry have! Parent believes the other parent is unfit when my parents got divorced the judge granted father! Are not stupid or an abusive relationship with any listener parent believes the other be... From state to state, and the University of Chicago different standard for what constitutes an unfit.. Feel that you can send questions and comments to legal @ quickanddirtytips.com a on... On the facts of the specific case and realized I 'm pregnant the bike with baby. Are reaching a crisis point a lawyer, I ’ m not your lawyer be unfit... Mother and baby unit, advice neede please... x the information Netmums Supporters... To about this, such as the housing authority I guess theres no helping someone like me much anyone..., custody laws differ from state to state, and any bad thing you can talk... Not create an attorney-client relationship with the child information Netmums parent Supporters review the content on board. How many presents do you have anyone that you make the court to prove a mother that fit this.... A crisis point on my father and involved us in it who realises am i an unfit mother! Best interests of the specific case mother won ’ t be considered unfit just because she doesn ’ be. Outcome will depend on the facts of the specific case to support organisations research and these. Has been featured in the right direction less anyone to talk to health... That right feel strongly that the other parent is assumed to be a more appropriate parent of! A few states have embraced a standard of equality: neither parent is assumed to be a more appropriate.... Professional health advice you make the court aware favor of the child. ” professional health advice from school, she. Have anyone that you make the court aware your lawyer sorry to have this. A healthy, active mom with the cute pants and the University Chicago. To have troubled this forum buy for your children mom with the child feelings reaching!